In recovery, one of the hardest things you’ll do is work to rebuild trust with friends and family. Relationships often become strained or permanently altered as a result of addiction, and you might feel undeserving of the love and support you once received. While rebuilding trust takes time, it is possible with some time, patience and consistent effort. Here’s how.
1. Learn to Trust Yourself First
Early in the process, many people in recovery have doubts about their ability to keep their obligations, stay sober and remain committed to a healthier lifestyle, and that’s completely normal. However, if you maintain a negative self-view and continue to beat yourself up over the past, these doubts can become self-fulfilling prophecies. The key to rebuilding trust with others is to re-learn how to trust yourself first and forgive yourself for your mistakes.
2. Start Small
Rebuilding trust with your friends and family members doesn’t happen overnight, so trying to force the process with a big gesture won’t work. Instead of overpromising and taking on too much too soon, commit yourself to smaller obligations. Show up on time. Be honest with them. Help out around the house. Remember important dates and anniversaries.
Over time, these small acts will add up and show your loved ones that you’re making an effort, setting the stage for healthier relationships. However, it’s important to remember that just because you’re ready to rebuild trust doesn’t mean the people you care about are. Respect their boundaries, give them space and remain committed to working on yourself.
3. Keep Showing Up
Sometimes, rebuilding trust with your loved ones can feel discouraging. Their experiences with you may have taught them to be cautious, and things might not be moving as quickly as you’d hoped. That’s fine. While respecting their boundaries, keep showing up and demonstrating your commitment to repairing the relationship. As you keep doing the small things, you’ll prove yourself to be dependable and trustworthy week after week.
But don’t forget to keep showing up for you, too. That means keep going to meetings, keep reaching out for help when you need it, and keep working to improve yourself. Some relationships may never recover from the past, but as long as you stay sober, you can continue to make forward progress and build new connections that are rooted in trust.
Trust Is Earned, Not Given
Rebuilding trust is not just about fixing what’s broken; it’s about creating something even stronger and more resilient. It’s about showing the world, and yourself, the transformative power of recovery and our boundless capacity to heal and reconnect. Stay sober and keep moving forward, one step at a time, and you may just re-earn the trust of your loved ones.
For more information on how Mount Sinai Wellness Center can support your journey to wellness, feel free to contact us at (800) 353-4673 to schedule an appointment.
